Movies reviews

  • 3 from Hell

    Watched on

    4

    After barely surviving prison, the demented Firefly clan go on the run, unleashing a whole new wave of murder, madness and mayhem.

    3 from Hell

    Review

    14 year three-qual about characters I’ve completely forgotten about. There is a lot of nothing exposition for the first 15 minutes. It’s then followed up with brutal murders, strange stylistic choices and transitions. The final showdown in Mexico is fine, but it had lost me by then.

  • Headhunters

    Watched on

    8

    An accomplished headhunter risks everything to obtain a valuable painting owned by a former mercenary.

    Headhunters

    Review

    This is a fun Norwegian thriller. A boring middle manager with a penchant for stealing art finds himself way out of his comfort zone after a mark becomes his predator. As things start to go wrong, they snowball into worse and worse situations. There are so many memorable and unique scenes, from a tense stand-off to a car chase, but especially the outhouse and dog! There are twists, turns and double-crossings. Definitely worth watching for the ride.

  • Ambulance

    Watched on

    4

    Two robbers steal an ambulance after their heist goes awry.

    Ambulance

    Review

    This is a genre movie, set mostly in or around an LA ambulance, as it is used as an escape vehicle from a bank heist gone wrong. The setup of the robbery has intrigue and starts well. As the situation turns sour, so does the entire movie. Once the bullets start flying, DRONE, the pace, action and shakey quick editing are non-stop. If everything is hectic and full-on, there is no contrast and it loses its impact.

    Jake Gyllenhaal is brilliant, flipping between calm and crazy effortlessly. There are some decent action scenes. Aside from that the entire movie, DRONE, is nauseating. The paramedic is a comical parody and there are so many weirdly obscure character backstory details. There is wasteful destruction, DRONE, that reminded me of The Blues Brothers – maybe they were trying to win the most expensive car crashes award.

    This is a remake of the Danish movie Ambulancen. The original comes in at a spritely 80 minutes, but this version drags on to over 130 minutes. The screenplay is at fault here, DRONE, with a needless gang side-story that just confuses and adds nothing.

    Michael Bay is the purveyor of a genre of movies named after him; “Bayhem”. Known for his Transformers movies, his style is brash, high-octane and frantic with plenty of explosions, a star-studded cast and a big budget. They're fun popcorn movies, similar to those by world-ending disaster director Roland Emmerich. These movies should be entertaining, but with Ambulance Michael Bay has missed the mark.

  • Uncharted

    Watched on

    6

    Street-smart Nathan Drake is recruited by seasoned treasure hunter Victor "Sully" Sullivan to recover a fortune amassed by Ferdinand Magellan, and lost 500 years ago by the House of Moncada.

    Uncharted

    Review

    Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg star in this action movie directed by Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland). It is based on a popular video game, which sets the appropriate low expectations. It beat those expectations, but only slightly.

    The whole movie has an Indiana Jones vibe, with the adventure being at the core – there is even a couple of the classic flying map animations. Similarly, it could have been a National Treasure movie, as it focuses on finding clues and looking for lost artefacts. However, it doesn't match those two franchises.

    Holland and Wahlberg both have great charisma, share good chemistry, and amusing quips, and have fun together. There are plenty of fun set-pieces to keep you entertained, although they take it to the extreme at the end. The story is a letdown, with characters introduced and then forgotten about.

    It would pair nicely with Jungle Cruise, both are easy-to-watch mediocre popcorn movies and that's OK.

  • Dog

    Watched on

    7

    Two former Army Rangers are paired against their will on the road trip of a lifetime. Briggs and Lulu race down the Pacific Coast to get to a fellow soldier's funeral on time.

    Dog

    Review

    Far better than it should be. A dog/buddy road trip featuring encounters with annoying new-age millennium hippies, a wannabe drug gangster, a hotel mission gone wrong and two different sides to a veteran after war. It's light and breezy, showing the relationship's progress and the individual's growth.